A Forgiveness Process from Dennis Gaither to You

When you are feeling upset, first, pause and take a breath. Take 3 – 4 slow, full breaths and make a soft "Ahhhhhhhhhh" sound as you exhale.

Let yourself be mindful of any thoughts, feelings, and body sensations you may be having.

Remember, "I am never upset for the reason I think". Are there any meanings or interpretations based on the past that are causing you to react in this way that you are aware of now? Any familiar patterns? Just allow yourself to be aware of the patterns and feelings without judgment. Be patient with yourself. This takes practice.

Recite this prayer: (Or something similar.) The important thing is the willingness, not the words. Allow in the feeling of willingness or openness. Make it an offering from the heart. It may help to personalize it by beginning with something like "Dear Holy Spirit" (or Mother/Father God, Jesus, Higher Power, Allah, or whatever is meaningful to you).

I am willing to let this problem of, (name the problem), go.

I am willing to let my way of seeing it go.

I am willing to see it differently.

I am willing to see it in YOUR way, as YOU see it, with LOVE.

Then take a moment of silence as you offer your perception of the problem up to your Higher Power. Offer it as you would a precious gift given to someone you love. In your mind see and feel yourself doing this. Then-

I am willing to let YOU heal my mind.

I am willing to receive YOUR meaning now.

Then wait in silence. Open your heart to receive a miracle. It may come as a feeling, a thought, words, an image, a new memory, music or in many other ways. It may not come in that moment, but trust that it will at some time in some way. Be open to receive it.

Then intentionally put the new perception into some kind of interpersonal action that reflects your new way of seeing the situation. This can take many forms. Examples might include: an act of kindness, an acknowledgment or apology or perhaps a forgiveness ritual. Let your Inner Wisdom guide you in this. This will strengthen and solidify your new perception and understanding.